Not Again
by Fjones
Summary: Antonio's heart was broken by the wedding of his first love. but then he met a guy who he didn't know, could change his life. ((SPAMANO AU))


CHAPTER 1

 **((I'm not a native American speaker so sorry for misspelled words and wrong Grammar!))**

* * *

A loud knock woke a young Spanish man from his deep slumber. He's Antonio Carriedo. Antonio ignored the person knocking in his door for two reasons: first, he doesn't want to leave his bed up until 7:30 AM and second, he's tired. too tired. The loud knock had gotten louder and now was accompanied by doorbells. _"He's definitely kicking the door again"_ He thought. He closed his eyes again and tried to dive again into a peaceful sleep but the annoying knock, doorbells and cell phone rings kept the Spanish from his goal.

"For Fuck's sake Antonio, answer the goddamn door!" The man behind the door shouted. Antonio doesn't want to get up but he needed for that He knew that his friend wouldn't let him in peace until he had talked to him. He finally got up. "7:31" he yawned. His eyes were open yet his senses were still sleeping.

" _Verdamt_ Tony, what the fuck are you doing?" said the man as Antonio opened the door. Antonio felt a snap that woke his senses up as his olive green eyes met a blazing ruby orbs and a black suit that the other's carrying. His friend was Gilbert Beilschmidt, A Prussian. Even though he was marked as German and the nation doesn't exist anymore, Gilbert insisted to be called as one because of his deep admiration on the greatest king lived, Fredrick the Great.

"Gilbert, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going?" Antonio said as he left Gilbert and went straight to the kitchen, the other followed him.

"But we're invited! The awesome me is invited! Francy's invited, so as you." Gilbert said as he laid himself and the suit carefully in the sofa.

"You're invited because you're friends with Vash and Francis' invited because he's a good friend of…" Antonio paused as he went outside the kitchen with two cups of instant coffee in his hand. "her" he added as he bring one cup down in front of Gilbert and sat across him.

Gilbert frowned deeply then sighed. "You're still affected… don't you?" He said as he took a sip from the cup. Antonio got startled then fell silent.

"Bull's eye" Gilbert teased. Antonio shot his friend a shut-up look then took a sip from his cup. It's true. Antonio was still affected. He's broken. He's broken because his first love dumped him, dumped him by an invitation sent to him one morning, a wedding invitation.

"Bella's going to be really really happy if you'll come" Gilbert said in soft voice that is out of his character. "That's what you wanted right? to make her happy. Now freaking take a shower, get dressed and let's go." He added then threw Antonio the suit. Gilbert would know that his friend wouldn't bother himself to buy or rent a suit for the occasion because at the first place, he knew, who would come to a wedding if the bride was your dream girl and the groom wasn't you? That's logical.

Antonio stared at the suit then sighed as a sign of surrender. "How stupid this was" He murmured as he stood up and placed the coffee cup at the mini table. "Just a second" He said then retreated to the bathroom.

Antonio doesn't want to go but if that'll make his love of his life happy, then he would. Antonio was in loved with Bella right from the start but didn't get a chance to confess for the reason of fearing that it'll destroy their friendship so he choose to just be her best friend and now she's marrying other man who Antonio thinks doesn't even know about Bella's mannerisms and love for chocolates and waffles. Antonio's mind was pre-occupied with his thoughts to the point that he doesn't notice he's now at Gilbert's car, making their way to the church.

"I think we should just go straight to the reception." Antonio said, fishing his phone from his pocket to entertain and relax himself from nervousness and tiredness.

"Come on Tony, we need to see Bella walking through the aisle with her bridal gown! Remember Lizzy designed it and if we didn't praise it…" Gilbert paused as fear ate him "we're doomed"

"Sure that's your punishment but are you that kind to let my remaining heart shreds into pieces as she walked down there, taking not my hand" Antonio said then Gilbert immediately apologized.

"But we need to attend the ceremony, Francy's waiting for us and not to mention, this is his car." Gilbert said.

Antonio frowned and turns his attention to his phone. After several minutes of silence, they finally arrived at the church's parking lot. Antonio's heart beat gone fast as he recognize the girl wearing a long white dress of ribbons and ruffles, talking to a brunette girl.

"Bella!" Gilbert exclaimed as he hopped down the car. Antonio doesn't know what to do. His emotion was too strong. He wanted to cry but there's no tears coming. His legs were too numb and he can't move. The girl named Bella turned her gaze at Gilbert and strike a beautiful smile, a smile that Antonio had never been encountered before.

Bella waved at Gilbert and run through him. "Gil! You came!" she exclaimed.

"Of course I will! Who the hell am I to not come to the wedding of my awesome best friend?" Gilbert said. "Congratulations, Bella" He added then hugged her. Bella hugged her back as she murmured a thank you.

"Antonio? Where's he?" Bella asked as they broke free while Antonio was thinking an escape plan.

"Oh. He's…" Gilbert glances at the car, thinking if he would give his friend mercy or not. He doesn't want to see Antonio's face when getting hurt but he also wanted to help his friend to move on. He sighed. "He's uhh-" Gilbert was cut by the wedding planner, calling Bella to position herself, Bella gleefully skipped going to her position in infront of the church as she waved at Gilbert, gesturing to hurry come inside. " _You're one fucked up saved, tony_ " He thought as Bella was gone.

Gilbert opened the car door and stared at Antonio. "Dude, let's go" He started but Antonio just stared back. Gilbert sighed "Come on" then grab Antonio's arm. The two friends entered the Church silently as the ceremony proceeds. A blonde long haired man waved at them. "There's Francy!" Gilbert whispered. Trying not to get much attention from the people, the two had waltz going to their friend.

"You're late!" The Frenchman named Francis said as Gilbert and Antonio sat down. Francis shot Antonio a look. "You came" He said.

"Y-yeah." Antonio murmured, looking down. Francis sighed. The ceremony went by and as the exchanging of vows came, Antonio silently stood up and leaves the church. He can't take the scene of his love putting a ring on other man. He planned to ditch the wedding off and just go in reception when his eyes landed in an auburn haired man with a strange curl leaning into a white Ferrari car in front of him, playing his mobile phone. Antonio's gaze locked at the guy for a few minutes until it notices.

"What?" It asked, turning his amber colored orbs at the Spanish and raising his eyebrows. Antonio panicked for that he doesn't know what to say as an excuse.

"Aahh… I-I'm sorry…" Antonio's mind suggested to apologize at first but then turns out to be a bad Idea when the guy's forehead crumpled.

"What the fuck" The guy murmured and diverted his attention on his mobile phone again.

Antonio, who's still dumbfounded by the guy's beauty, can't take his eyes off him. He wanted to go but he can't move. His mind went blank all of a sudden.

"Your name" Antonio startled as the words came out from his own mouth. He panicked as the guy shot him a deathly glare.

"What the actual fuck you're trying to do?" The guy asked irritated as he fully faced the Spanish and crossed his arms, glaring.

Antonio, finally can move, averted his eyes and scratched his nose(cutely like hell). "I just wanted to know your name" He said.

"Why?"

"Uhhmm you know… to make friends…" Antonio wasn't able to think an acceptable excuse that's why he thought that he said something suck and that is the end of their conversation.

The guy fell silent and glare sharper that before.

Antonio laughed nervously. "S…sorry" he apologized. The Spanish was ready to leave when the guy loudly and forcefully slammed his back to the car and turn his gaze to his phone again.

"Romano"

Antonio got startled. "w-what?" He asked, tying to confirm the suspicion that suddenly grew stronger.

"I'm not repeating it for your sake, fucker" Romano said nonchalantly.

"Romano…is that your name?"

"See? You heard it! Stupid"

Antonio's heart beat gone fast. It can't be, He can't be… Antonio's mind was full of memories of his High school by this time, memory of him writing letter under a cherry blossom tree and burying it after.

"Are you by any chance… studied at W. Academy in High school?" Antonio asked, his hands were sweating and legs slightly trembling.

Romano glanced at Antonio. "What are you? Some kind of stalker?"

"Just please answer my question" Antonio really wanted to brake his suspicion into pieces.

Romano sighed in irritation. "Yes I did. You happy? Fucker"

Antonio's trembling grew more. "O-oh. I see…" He said. "Can I ask you again?"

"What the fuck do you want from me?" Romano, with great irritation, exclaimed.

" I-I just want to confirm something…sorry If I've been a bother" Antonio apologized.

"Fine!" As Romano dropped the word, Antonio grew more nervous.

"D-did you happen to know…" Antonio paused. "…Tomato?"

Romano looked straight at the Spanish's eyes. The two starred at each other for some time until Romano's look softens then turn his sight back to his phone.

"Nope." Romano said "I didn't"

Antonio felt a sudden relief because no matter what, he doesn't want this beautiful young man in front of him being the guy he hurt back in high school. "O-oh… Is that so…? Haha, sorry to bother you for the second time." He laughed. Romano stayed silent.

"Hey! Tony! Where the fuck are you?!" Someone sounded like Gilbert shouted. Antonio grew embarrassment as his Friend had the guts to curse in a holy place.

"I'm sorry, I need to go before some nuns could hear him cursing! Nice to meet you again! Bye!" Antonio waved at Romano as he walked out going to his friend.

Roman was left alone, staring blankly in his phone. "Damn you" He silently muttered. "How could you forget someone who punches your guts out of the blue?" He stood straight and went inside his car. _"and why the fuck did you came back?"_ He thought as he started the engine and drove away as fast as he could.

"Hey, where did you go?" Gilbert asked as he spotted Antonio walking to his place.

"Just to catch some fresh airs, you know I hate sweet, girly perfumes." Antonio replied.

Gilbert fell silent. "She's looking for you…" He said that catches Antonio's attention "Bella"

Antonio let out a small "Oh" sound as loneliness ate him again and again and again.

"You'll come?" Gilbert asked. Antonio slowly nods.

"Gil! Antonio!" The two friends startled as a very familiar voice called them. Antonio wanted to run away, but his arms were firmly held by Gilbert.

"Oh! Bella, Simon! _Gluckwunsch_!" Gilbert said as he shook his hand with Bella and her husband.

"Ah, you speak German? Well, _Veilen Dank_!" the guy said with a Danish accent.

Antonio doesn't have the courage to show Bella his disappointment that's why he slowly faced the newlyweds and strike a fake smile.

"H-hey! Bella, Congratulations!" He said. Gilbert notices how fake his Friend's smile was.

"Antonio! Oh, yeah! Thank you! By the way, this is Simon, Simon Densen, my husband" She introduced. "And Simon, this is Gilbert and Antonio!"

"Nice to meet you!" Simon shook hands with the two friends.

"Sorry, I didn't get a chance of introducing him to you guys!" She apologized.

"Oh no! Don't be sorry! The awesome me doesn't mind at all!" Gilbert said with the same proud smile he wearing every day.

"Oh thank you!" Bella said "Sorry, Antonio!"

Antonio startled as he heard his name. "O-oh… N-no! yeah! Don't be sorry!" He faked a smile "It's my fault after all…"

Gilbert shot his friend a look that Bella noticed.

"Huh? What do you mean?" The Belgian asked curiously.

"Huh… O-oh… It's my fault of not keeping in touch with you for the few last months…" Antonio said, trying to hide his emotions.

"Yeah… But Francis already knew him!" The conversation between the four continued until a Japanese photographer asked them to line up to take some pictures.

For the whole time, Antonio's faking a smile. He doesn't want to show his "broken" side in his best friend's wedding that's why He forced himself to just forget his feelings for Bella and divert his attention to something that could entertain him.

Antonio watched Bella and Simon silently as they intertwined their fingers together while smiling beautifully. He knew he wouldn't have a singles chance of winning Bella over Simon and with a single sigh, he accepted defeat. He realized can't have his life slowly fades away with burdens in his chest that's why even if it's hard, he accepted that Bella wouldn't be his anymore.

After the Photo shoot was done, the flock of guests slowly fades away and the only persons remaining on the Church werethe couple, Antonio, Francis, Gilbert, Gilbert's brother, his Italian friend and the Japanese photographer.

"You okay?" Francis asked Antonio as he sat down beside him, handing cold bottle of water.

Antonio accepted the offer and nod normally. "Francis, I…"

"Hm?"

"I think I moved on." Antonio said, facing his Frenchman friend. Francis' eyes grew wide for a second then smiled.

"O-oh… Then that's good!" Francis exclaimed. "But how?" He added, taking a sip from his bottle.

"I don't know… It still hurts but not the same as the first time I learned her wedding…" Antonio said, also taking a sip from the bottle. Antonio almost spit the liquid from the bottle when he got a taste of it.

"Beer?!" The Spanish exclaimed.

Francis laughed. "Yours and Gilbert's beer and mine's wine~" He said, taking another sip from the bottle.

"Francis, really?!" Antonio said. He had a second thought for a while but then give the liquid a big gulp.

The two friends talked to each other until the signing of contact was done then flew going to the reception.

At the Reception, Antonio enjoyed the party more that he could expect. He enjoyed talking to His old and new found friends like, Alfred, The owner of their favourite Bar. Arthur, Francis' friend and Feliciano, Ludwig's close friend.

"Feliciano Vargas!" Antonio shook hands with his new found Italian friend.

"Antonio Carriedo" He introduced.

"Are you Spanish?" Feliciano asked, taking a glass of juice from the waiter's tray.

Antonio nodded. "My parent's Spanish but I grew up here, I've been in Spain last year and I know how to speak also!" He said. "You? Are you an Italian?"

Feliciano nodded gleefully. " _Si!_ Me and Fratello grew up in Italy but when we reached 8, when Grandpa died, we moved here. I went with Roderich's and Fratello went with Aunt Priam!"

"Fratello?"

"Yup!Fratello, My brother!"

"You had a brother?" Antonio was surprised and a feeling of wanting to meet the brother of a cute little creature like Felicano grew strong. He Imagined another Feliciano and how cute he was.

"Yes! Although he's not good with people but He's kind and a good cook! You should meet him!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"I'd want too!" Antonio said happily.

"He's name is Romano by the way!"

Antonio curled his eyebrows up as he heard a familiar name, then he remembers the guy he had talked to earlier.

"He's your brother?!" Antonio exclaimed, not wanting to believe that the foul-mouthed guy he met was the brother of a sweet little thing he's talking to at the moment.

"Did you meet him already?" Feliciano asked, tilting his head.

"I…think"

"Oh! Sorry if he said something bad to you!" Feliciano apologized.

"No, it's totally okay!" Antonio said.

"He's not that bad-mouthed before…" Feliciano's expression changed as he looked down with sadness in his eyes.

Antonio seems to notice. "Why?"

Feliciano shot him a look and Antonio immediately apologizes for trying to get in other's business.

"It's okay…" Feliciano took a sip from his glass before he started. "As I said, Fratello and I grew up in Italy and moved here after Grandpa's death. By that time, we attended the same Elementary school and Junior High, He wasn't that bad before until we went Senior High." He said with an undeniable sad tone.

"What happened?" Antonio asked so concerned.

"I don't know. It's just happened that one day, Auntie called us saying that Fratello's on guidance by giving a random student an upper-cut." He said, still with sad tone. "After that, He's always having a fight with Random students and his language changed. He started to curse, saying bad things to everyone that even Auntie had to give him up." He continued, still lonely.

Antonio was shocked by the information Feliciano was giving. Giving an upper-cut to a random student? That seemed familiar with him, like, he can picture someone blowing his guts out by a powerful upper-cut by an Italian marked student from his old academy. Memories started to flow; he desperately searched for the said memory up until he remembers himself writing a letter under a cherry blossom tree. He questioned himself where it all started and when did it end. But even how many efforts he gave trying to think about the whole thing, he miserably failed.

"Antonio?" Feliciano waved a hand in front of Antonio's face.

"O-oh, sorry, what is it again?" He apologized, He knew Feliciano was talking when he tried to remember something but pay less attention to it.

"I said I'm a painter and you, what did you do for living?" He repeats.

"Oh, sorry, well, I own a tomato farm but only visit it once in a month. I'm currently working on a kindergarten." Antonio said.

"Tomato farm?" Feliciano asked and Antonio just nodded. "Cool! Not to mention, Fratello loves tomatoes so if you had a time, sent us some!" Feliciano happily suggested.

Antonio smiled brightly. "Sure!" He surely loved to send the cutest creature living his proudly cared tomatoes. The two continued their conversation up until Francis came and joined the talk. The party went by in flash and the guests were starting to congratulate the newlyweds and go home.

"Hit the bar?" Gilbert said as Him, Antonio and Francis' making their way to the parking.

"Sounds fun~" Francis agreed.

"Sorry, guys. I need to go somewhere." Antonio said, stopping from his walk.

"Where are you going _, Mon cher_?" Francis asked, facing Antonio.

"I…I'm going to the academy." Antonio said.

"Academy? Where?" Francis said.

"W Academy." Antonio said.

"Why?

"I need to confirm something" Antonio said as he turned his back. "I'll just catch up!" He said then waved goodbye.

The two friends shared a look and decided to just go by themselves and let Antonio do whatever he pleases to do. They drove away as the Spanish had ridden the bus.

As Antonio walked through the hallways of his Alma mater, He felt nostalgic. He remembers how stupid he was in High school and how stubborn Francis and Gilbert before for spreading shampoo on the hallway that made it more slippery. He wanted to go back in High school, where his happiest part of his life was happening.

As he reminisce his memories of his high school life, He found himself standing in front of a Cherry blossom tree behind the school in the yard. He remembers that he loved this place. He spent most of his brakes and lunch time sitting under the shade of the tree and sometimes taking a nap. He knew that this is his place. Antonio sat under the tree and tried to think. He surely had forgotten something. Antonio's eyelids were falling as the times goes by. _"I knew… I had forgotten something…"_ He murmured as he peacefully dived into a deep slumber.

* * *

Romano startled as his phone rang _. "what the fuck"_ He cursed as he answered the call.

"Fratello! Where did you go? You suddenly disappeared!" Feliciano, on the other line, said.

"Shut up! I'm just taking fresh air" Romano said, still not averting his eyes from the road.

"Ehhh... Oh! I remembered, I met this Spanish man and he said he owns a Tomato farm! You should meet him and he wanted to meet you too!" Feliciano exclaimed happily as if that'll make his brother's mood lighten up. But Romano's forehead crumpled as he recognizes the Spanish, only Spanish man in the wedding. Feliciano's rant continued as Romano nonchalantly listens.

"Opps, time's up, I'm hanging up" Romano said as he pulled the brake and without waiting a single reply on the other line, he hung up. He threw his phone in his pocket while hopping down from his Ferrari. He examined first the building in front of him then sighed. _"fucking Spanish bastard"_ He silently muttered.

He walked through the silent, dim lighted hallway of the building as he tried to arrange his thoughts. Romano halted in front of a white, sliding door and swiftly walked inside. It was the Library; Romano had liked reading stuffs about History and how great his hometown was before. After he got the perfect book, he let his feet drag him through the hallway. He usually spent his leisure time in the building, in the backyard where a large, cherry blossom tree's standing, giving the Italian a sense of security and peacefulness.

The bird chirped and the sun's almost done as Romano's eyes grew wide. It can't be, He can't be... here. The Spanish bastard should be in a bar with his two idiot friend by this time, why he's here? He founded Antonio sleeping peacefully under his favourite spot. Romano backed two steps, trying to run away from the great scene he knew, was about to happen. He got startled as the tan man released a soft moan.

" _R...Romano?"_ Romano gulped, praying that the other man was just sleep talking. His hands started to shake, his grip to the book he chose had tighten, His legs started to tremble. _"R...Romano..."_ Antonio sighed sadly and few tears started to roll down from his tan cheeks. Romano couldn't ignore the sad tone in the other man's voice and unconsciously mumbled a soft _"why?"_

" _Romano...I...I.."_ More tears started to fall down as Antonio mumbled the words. Romano stood straight as he waits for the next words.

" _I'm sorry"_


End file.
